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The rhythmic crash of the ocean waves striking the shore. The crisp smell of cold mountain air. The feel of sand between your toes. The awe-inspiring site of centuries-old architecture serving as a backdrop for your big day. For many people, a destination wedding is a dream come true, but planning your I dos from a few thousand miles away can be more difficult than you think.
Check out these pro-level tips and tricks that can help make planning your destination wedding a lot less stressful and a whole lot more fun.
1. Factor in the cost of travel
Depending on the destination you choose, a wedding abroad could seem like a steal (no huge crowds to feed when most people won’t fly internationally) or a total budget buster (it’s not cheap to spend two weeks in Rome). But whatever costs you have in mind could change significantly once you figure in travel — and we’re not just talking airfare.
One survey found that 42% of Americans would skip a destination wedding because of the perceived travel cost. In addition to plane tickets, you’ll have to pay for ground transportation to and from the airport and around your destination city, plus hotel rooms, travel agent fees, and incidentals like concierge tips and passport fees. Make a list and estimate the cost of each item before you settle on a final budget.
2. Pick a spot that’s special to you — and beware of timing
The safest thing to do is to pick a destination that holds special meaning. Choosing a new spot could be exciting, but your wedding isn’t exactly the best time to realize you hate the bugs and humidity in Key West or don’t have the stomach for Galician food.
Instead, choose a destination that makes both you and your soon-to-be spouse smile. Then make sure your proposed date works for that locale. You don’t want to end up in the Caribbean during rainy season unless affordability is more important to you than outdoor adventures. Check with local vendors before committing to plane tickets or requesting time off work. You may be surprised to hear that your chosen date is smack dab in the middle of a local festival period or that there’s a European sporting event that means all the hotels are already booked up.
3. Send out save the dates extra early
Save the dates are how you let your guests know:
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You’re getting married
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Where the wedding will be (it can be just the name of the city if you don’t have a specific venue nailed down just yet)
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The date you’re tying the knot
Eventually, you’ll mail more detailed wedding invitations that extend a formal invite and offer more info for guests planning on attending, but a save the date gives loved ones a heads up so they can start their own to-do list.
4. Choose your wedding wear after you choose your venue
A voluminous satin ballgown with a cathedral train is stunning — that is until you try to wear it on a Mexican beach in the middle of summer. Choosing your dress or suit to fit the venue isn’t just about fashion, it’s also about comfort and functionality. You don’t want to realize you can’t walk to your beloved because your stilettos are stuck in the soil of the garden you chose for your ceremony. Also give guests some info about what they can expect in terms of the venue and the weather around the time you’ll be getting married so they can plan and pack appropriately too.
5. Clearly communicate to guests what’s paid for and what isn’t
Miscommunications can cause a lot of problems you don’t want to have hanging over your head when you’re about to get married. Traditionally, destination weddings are similar to close-to-home weddings in that guests are expected to pay their own way with the exception of the reception. But sometimes holding a wedding at an all-inclusive resort or similar venue can muddy the waters.
If you’ve booked a hotel room block at a discounted rate, spell that out in your wedding invitation while emphasizing that guests are still responsible for making and paying for their own accommodations. Any activities you’ve arranged as part of your wedding week or weekend should be listed as part of the itinerary along with a note tactfully explaining whether the activity is paid for or if guests are expected to chip in. For instance, you can say “Horseback riding at 2pm: Please contact the resort concierge if you’d like to opt in for this event.”
If you’re choosing to pay for some activities, like a spa day for your bridal party, spell that out too: “All bridesmaids and groomsmen are invited to spend the morning in the spa for a massage and facial as our thank you for your support on our big day.”
Use your wedding website to clue guests in on what activities are on deck and what they can do in their own time if they want to beef up their schedule.
6. Try to take a planning trip
If at all possible, visit your destination wedding venue at least once before you’re actually there to get married. You’ll be able to get a better understanding of potential ceremony and reception spaces, taste the food, check out vendors in person, and even try out some activities so you can recommend excursions to your guests based on actual experience rather than just regurgitating what they already read in their guidebook.
7. Have a wedding planner who lives locally
Hiring a local wedding planner is important even if you’re able to visit your venue ahead of time and be hands-on in the planning process, and it’s absolutely crucial if you won’t make it to your dream locale until right before your big day. Your planner is the person who will negotiate with vendors, handle any crises that pop up, make recommendations as you formulate your reception plans, and keep things running smoothly the day of the event. They’ll also be there to greet guests as they arrive — one less thing on your plate!
Yes, a planner costs extra money, but in this case, it’s worth every single penny.
Hint: If you’re having your wedding at a resort, they’ll likely include their in-house wedding planner as part of your overall wedding package.
8. Read up on local customs and marriage requirements
Surprise! Marriage requirements are different everywhere, and some destinations have cultural differences that are important to observe or at least be aware of so you don’t accidentally step on any toes.
The biggest item of note here is that some countries have residency requirements in place for couples who intend to get married during their visit. That doesn’t mean you have to actually move there, but you may have to be in the country for anywhere from 24 hours (as in Turks and Caicos) to a whopping 40 days (that’s what France requires) before you can say your vows. Some couples skirt this by having a legal ceremony at home and then just holding a symbolic ceremony at their destination of choice.
9. Be flexible
Unless your destination wedding only has a handful of guests who are all fairly easy-going and self-sufficient, you can pretty much count on your wedding day hitting a few snags. Vendors will be late (especially those on “island time”). Things will be lost in translation. Your luggage might be delayed. Your great aunt Edna could miss her flight. Staff might forget to water your roses and they’ll all be a tad wilted. But you know what? Your wedding will go on, and at the end of the day, you’ll be happily married. Choosing a destination wedding works best if you also choose to plan ahead and relinquish some control later on.
Already have your heart set on getting married abroad? Find out when you should send your save the dates, then check out these beachy invitations that could be perfect for your warm-weather I dos.