by: 
I’m married to a sweetheart; he’s funny, kind, considerate... Great qualities and yet, we are so completely different. As an experiment and just to amuse myself, I watched him peruse the trailers re: movies “on demand” for us to watch recently. Most of the movies he chose had to do with explosives of all sorts, sweating, good guy vs. bad guy, racing, yelling…you get the idea. Only one movie appeared to have a semblance of romance. Actually, I think they all would have been good films but had it not been for my husband, I wouldn't have even considered watching any of them.
Love and euphoria rule during the engagement period while marriage brings about the reality of two people living together who are fundamentally different. I love being married but sometimes we just do not get each other; it can be frustrating. How do you bridge the differences? The Five Love Languages written by Gary Chapman is a book I'd recommend. Chapman is a marriage counselor and a marriage enrichment seminar leader. He wrote this book for the specific purpose of helping individuals realize their emotional love language~ ultimately helping couples to communicate and keep their love alive, after the wedding. Chapman's, five love languages are based on the ways people express and receive love.
5 primary languages of love:
- Quality Time
- Words of affirmation
- Gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
Taken from the back of his book:
"If you express love in a way your spouse doesn't understand, he or she won't realize you've expressed your love at all. The problem is that you're speaking two different languages. Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he still feels down, your puzzled."
The wife expresses her love with an act of service while the husband receives love through words of affirmation...and in this scenario, they 're not speaking the same language. Interesting isn't it?
It seems that the more we understand ourselves, the better our relationships will be. Identify your love language. Check out the 30 second assessment tool from Gary Chapman's web page The Five Love Languages.
