Choosing Your Wedding Attendants

by: Heidi
5 minutes

You’re engaged! Let the excitement begin! One of the very first items on the “to do” list of wedding planning after setting up your wedding budget is to choose your wedding attendants. This area of wedding planning requires careful consideration and I’ll tell you why~ operation obligation.   You won’t find that term anywhere because I just made it up (lol). Although not referring to the thoughtful tradition of including soon-to-be in-laws, operation obligation describes why some of us brides feel obligated to reciprocate to those we have stood up for in the past…
I’ve been there and it is difficult to narrow down your choices~ especially if you have many good friends and lots of close family members. But, I encourage you and your fiancé(e) to make well thought-out decisions that are based on constant, loyal and responsible relationships, rather than those you simply feel an obligation towards. Your wedding day is hugely momentous and you want to be surrounded by those who love and support you and who are willing to help you during the planning time, leading up to the wedding day itself.
Once your decisions are made however, it is possible that feelings may get hurt. Me being a bit of a Pollyanna-type, I would suggest preparing a sensitive and honest explanation for your decisions. Even though it’s YOUR wedding, kindness does indeed go a long way. On that note,
When choosing attendants, consider these factors:
  • Realize that long-distance attendants might not be able to assist with as much planning help.
  • The more attendants you have, the higher your expenses: flowers, meals, gifts, accommodations etc.
  • The more attendants you have, the harder it will be to coordinate schedules.
Good to know:
  • It is acceptable to have an uneven number of attendants
  • It is acceptable to have attendants of the opposite sex
  • Attendants are typically responsible for: wedding attire, gifts to bride and groom, parties/showers, travel expenses
Tips:
  • Choose attendants ASAP after the engagement announcement so they have time to prepare for their responsibilities and wedding expenses.
  • Communicate throughout the wedding planning time so your attendants understand what is expected of them.
What do you think? Operation Obligation or Bust?
 
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